The Dating Problem

Don Tillman is "tall, fit and intelligent, with a relatively high status and above-average income as an associate professor." Despite the fact that science tells him he should be attractive to women based on these qualities, he has yet to solve the ultimate challenge: The Wife Problem. Don reveals all of these intimate details about himself in the first three pages of Graeme Simsion's novel, The Rosie Project.

Are you laughing yet?

While reading those few pages, I was laughing. Quite loudly too, as my dog was clearly questioning my sanity as she watched me read.

Don Tillman, PhD

In his thirty-nine years, Don has continuously struggled to understand the social cues and nuances that are involved in human interactions, making dating considerably harder for him. He is a successful geneticist at the University of Melbourne, has a few good friends, lives his life by a strict schedule, but deeply desires a companion to spend the rest of his days with. So he devises the perfect plan; a 16 page questionnaire for women to take so he can easily filter through the process of finding his perfect match.

The amazing thing about Don is that he is a very unique character, and yet, Simsion has found a way to make this unique character incredibly relatable. I am not a 39 year-old professor of genetics, and yet I found myself immediately empathizing with Don's problem. 

I call it "The Dating Problem"

Dating is a strange, almost unnatural thing. We may have more ways of meeting people now (through friends, at events, online platforms that use algorithms, or simply swiping left or right), but we are still required to go through the awkward steps that start with a first date. Not only are we meant to spend time with new people (or familiar people) in a romantic context, but we are expected to act cool and collected while our nerves are skyrocketing.

At least, that has been my experience. 

It's not Don's fault that dating is difficult. After all, everyone (including Don) has their list of what an ideal partner would look like. On a date, two people are trying to see if the other fits their list, while simultaneously attempting to fit their date's list. Surely we can understand why Don decided to use a questionnaire to simplify this and help him complete "the Wife Project." 

The Science of it All

A questionnaire comparing compatibility is not exactly a new thing, but Don will quickly learn that his 16 page questionnaire does not address one crucial component of dating: Emotions. Objectively speaking, science may be able to account for certain levels of attraction based on compatibility, but emotions are an incredibly complex and subjective thing. 

Enter Rosie, a strong-minded young woman who is introduced to Don by his best friend, Gene, the Head of Psychology at the University of Melbourne. She works as a bartender, and smokes regularly, only two of her many personality traits that, according to Don's questionnaire, make her an "unsuitable" candidate for "the Wife Project."

Regardless of this, the two embark on a journey to find Rosie's biological father, a task he is suitable for as a geneticist. He freely and enthusiastically offers his help, and soon Don finds that he is enjoying spending time with Rosie. Upon realizing this, Don is left to wonder if he can love someone who is completely "unsuitable" for him.

Falling in Love

I absolutely loved this book. It was funny and heartwarming, and a new, quirky lens through which we can learn about love. Everyone shows their love differently, and in the end, this book is not only about allowing emotions to connect us, and looking beyond our "lists," but also asks us if we are willing to accept how someone else expresses their love. 

It also left me wondering whether or not Gregory Peck would have played Don Tillman in the film adaptation, as Rosie mentions in the book that Don looks like the famous actor from "To Kill a Mockingbird." Definitely a good book for this isolation period, 4/5 stars! Now I have a very important question for everyone: Should I read the rest of the trilogy? Let me know!

I am also happy to announce that I have received my first book recommendation! One of my readers has asked that I read Godshot, by Chelsea Bieker, and I am happy to do so, although it will not be released until April 17th. If you have any other recommendations for me, please let me know in a comment or by emailing theopinionatedbookworm@gmail.com.